Almost there

I'm in week 37 and incredibly anxious to get this pregnancy over with. I don't remember being this impatient with Josiah. Probably because I was so busy trying to get my fence done that I wasn't really ready for him to come. Well this time I'm completely ready. Her room is finished (all except for her blanket, but I didn't plan on getting that done in time anyway). All of the shopping and planning for Josiah's upcoming birthday is finished. All of the yard work including the sandbox, flower box, and fire ring are finished. The only think that really needs to be done is that the house should be cleaned. But that's an ongoing process that is never complete.

I never had Braxton Hicks contractions with Josiah, but I've had a few this time around. And I've had a lot of gas (TMI I know). I will feel some excruciating pain in my stomach and get so excited only to discover that it's only gas. I really want things to happen soon, but I'm afraid that all my wishing and hoping is just making it take longer.

Despite the fact that I'm ready to see my little girl, I am taking every moment that I can to cherish my alone time with my boy. I drop everything I'm doing just to play or cuddle with him. Part of me is really sad that we won't ever have these special moments again and I'm really worried about how he's going to handle all the changes. I love him more than anything in the world and I don't want him ever to feel like I don't.

It breaks my heart because every night this week he's been asking, "Mommy sleep with you?" I want to say yes. I would love to lay with him until he fell asleep and have that special time. But I don't want him to get into that habit because I know that in a few weeks sleeping with him will become impossible. So every night I've had to say no and then listen to him cry and repeat "mommy sleep with you!!" until he falls asleep.

Another sweet thing is that ever since my brother went back home last week Josiah has talked about him non-stop. Randomly throughout the day he will say, "see Jesse?" and when I tell him no he says, "Jesse in Fargo." Today when I woke him up from his nap he pointed to the door and said, "Jesse??" I of course had to tell him Jesse wasn't here. Then at lunch we went to McDonalds (I know, terrible huh) and I asked him what he wanted. He said, "Chicken Nuggets." I told him that I didn't think he liked them and he answered, "Jesse likes chicken nuggets." So we got them, and he ate them. He really loves and admires his uncle, which I think is so sweet.